It's showtime, old bean!
- It's showtime, old bean! After a tumultuous tenure tangled in truth-bending and tactical resignations, @borisjohnsonuk has been reincarnated as BORISJUICE the ghost with the most disheveled hair in the afterlife. Haunting the netherworld between accountability and oblivion, Borisjuice specializes in appearing exactly three times when summoned: once to make grand promises, twice to create spectacular chaos, and thrice to vanish before the consequences arrive. His supernatural abilities include walking through walls (particularly ethical ones), possessing an uncanny talent for manifesting at garden parties during lockdowns, and turning any room into a circus with a mere flip of his phantom blond mop. Do not say his name three times unless you want your facts checked, your buses covered in dubious statistics, and your parliamentary proceedings turned into a macabre comedy of errors. He comes with his own smoke and mirrors, requires no makeup for the undead look, and his pinstripe suit is held together entirely by bluster and Latin phrases.
