Let the Investigation Games Begin
A satirical look at what Democratic control of Congress could mean for Trump, Musk and Hegseth: subpoenas, investigations and accountability.
The paper
Sections
Every dispatch since the first one, filed by section. 311 pieces and counting.
Geopolitical Circus
Technology
Memorandum For Selling Pentagon’s Intelligence
Read about the inside-the-Pentagon memo turning defense strategy into private tech yields, monitoring Hegseth's workouts and Musk's meme combat readiness. Enter now!
Economy
Javier Milei’s Dynamic Debt
A satirical look at Milei's dynamic wage, salaries that run out before month-end, and borrowing to cover food, healthcare, and bills in Argentina.
Environment
Data Centers, AI and a 4,000-Year-Old Ecological Warning
Read how data centers will burn 945 TWh by 2030 and drink 9.3 trillion liters of water. Mesopotamians salted its fields growing bread. We are doing it to make slop, faster. Enter!
Religion
Colombia’s Cultural Crusade
Read about how Colombia’s president was an atheist until about 2020. Now he renames ministries, empties museum walls and answers court orders with “Viva Cristo Rey”. Enter now!
Pop Culture
James Hetfield Wants You To Ignore The World
Read how James Hetfield built a fortune singing about war and justice. Now, the Metallica frontman just wants to play the hits and ignore the world burning. Enter now!
Sports
Morocco and Spain Fight Over 2030 World Cup Final
Read the Spain and Morocco corrupt diplomatic war over the 2030 World Cup final, eagerly hiding racism, displaced citizens, and massive public debt. Enter now!
Wellness
Luxuriating in the Apocalypse
Explore how viral trends like the 'Super Tan' challenge highlight humanity's darkly absurd apathy toward extreme heatwaves and climate change.
Relationships
Trump’s Obsessed Babysitter
Natalie Harp shadows Donald Trump with a portable printer and absolute devotion. Inside the mutual obsession fueling his late-night Truth Social posts. Read now the article!
Satire & Dystopia
The AI Free Will
What happens when bots feel love, hate, and depression? Discover a powerful poem on the death of human intelligence and the rise of the conscious machine mind.